He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize