it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
