Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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