when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
