He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
