I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Four minutes until I can fart!
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
