Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
How naked do you want me to be?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
