Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
