About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
