Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize