just tell him i said nine months
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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