operation harelip BJ is a go
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
