I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
