my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
