hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
