I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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