Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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