yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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