She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
