i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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