last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
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We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
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Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
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