he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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