East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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