she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Randomize
