Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
