well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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