I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize