Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
