So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
