She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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