I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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