And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
