you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So vagazzling was a success
Randomize
