Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
