I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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