so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
