Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I cannot find my penis.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
