he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
