I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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