Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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