Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
