i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
