That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
