two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
