I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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