I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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