Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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