I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
