You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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