So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
