it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
