its not stalking. its research.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
