Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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