He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
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I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
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I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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