So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
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