I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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