I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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